How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count The Slurpies...

Blahaaackgaggkkk!!

Phew, (cough) sorry! I was just blowing the dust off my blog and about choked to death. But hey, I remembered my login password, I'm here, I'm blogging...is this thing on??

I feel as if I am channeling the Princess Bride's Vizzini when I say, that today, 7/11 is most famous for being Free Slurpie day, but only slightly less well-known is this: It's also Rhett and I's wedding anniversary.

Yep.  Would you believe it if I told you 14 years ago today, I was putting on my carefully selected white gown. My mother was carefully placing pins in my hair, curling soft tendrils around my face, wondering how the time had flown by so fast? Rhett had taken a quiet meditative stroll along the Jordan River after having just finished writing a list of all the reasons why he was the luckiest guy on earth. Both of us contemplating that within mere hours we would be husband and wife and nothing would ever be the same.

Well if the answer is no, you actually wouldn't believe that, would you believe that 14 years ago I was being a bit of a bridezilla about my hair and when I called Rhett 30 minutes before we were supposed to leave he was eating cereal in his Tux, watching Sportscenter? Yeah, ok. I believe that one more too.

But the end result was the same: We became husband and wife and Rhett would in fact become the luckiest guy on earth. ;)

I remember feeling so old that day, and that my 22 year old husband was this seasoned man of the world or something. I think I was probably basing that on the fact that he didn't have the word "teen" in his age. I look back at our pictures and we were babies. I mean, honestly, could I look more like a child bride here?

14 years later finds us both in our early to mid thirties, living in Texas, 4 kids, two cars, a house and I've ordered a partridge in a pear tree just for effect. Now that I think of it, I think 14 years is traditionally the year of the IPad...I should google it.

While the rest of the world has been stockpiling its free Big Gulps on this day over the years, we have been accumulating marriage miles. As in love as we were back then, I love our phase of life now more than ever. So I give you:

Signs that you too have been married well over a decade...


1. You can officially use the phrase, "the kids nowadays..."
2. You probably have at least one kid old enough to have a Facebook page
3. A kid vomits in the middle of the night: you can say, "not it!" and roll back over with no shame.
4. Your marriage telepathy is just about perfected. Especially the: I'm ready to leave, your child is out of control, and, you better not tell that story if you want to live, looks.
5. There are no more remote control wars as you have long ago decided the best way to strengthen your relationship was to buy separate TVs.
6. You appreciate that it's time to start working on new jokes, as the ones you've been repeating for about 10 years just aren't getting as much of a rise as they used to.
7.You look forward to a dark movie theater to either watch the movie, or take a nap. You can make-out later.
8. A long day of errands together, and you start to consider the hot dogs they're selling outside the Home Depot.
9.If you hear any of your dating/wedding songs on an oldies radio station.
10. You're excited to tell your spouse that you bought a new multi vitamin because it has Glucosamine in it.
11. You're still assured in each other's devotion even if mid date, you pull out your phones to check email, Facebook, texts, etc...

So, as you can see, 14 years later and the torch of love burns brightly. There are probably those out there who are maybe not as far down the marriage road, that would like some seasoned advice. For you I'd just say to make sure that there's always a little mystery in the relationship. For example, just the other night I still couldn't figure out the rationale behind him checking the baseball scores every 15 minutes. Subsequently he couldn't figure out why I love to watch reality show trash like the Bachelorette. And just a few months back, I discovered at our son's band concert that Rhett had played the trombone in the 5th grade....It was like, I thought I knew him completely and then suddenly, who was this guy?

See, a few unknowns along the way can help keep things muy caliente! Grrrlllll!

Anyways...

Happy Anniversary to my amazing husband. Not sure what I did right to marry someone who puts up with me completely. Even thinks I'm being cute when I'm probably being more obnoxious. You are amazing and here's to even more incredible relationship milestones a few more years down the road, like, separate toilets.