Rhett keeps threatening that he's going to do a guest spot on my blog. He's tallying a mental list of all my oddisms and obsessions so you can all know that I'm the real quirky one in the family. Idle threats. For one, he wins hands down and for two, he doesn't know my password. I do, on occasion, give him grief over his sports obsession that borders on insanity. But I do not pass through life unaware of my own idiosyncrasies. And surely I'm comfortable enough in my own skin to share a few. But just a few.
Like, what is up with me and the racks by the register at the grocery store? Heck, any store. I go purposefully for milk, bread and let's say...fruit. I can make it through 10,000 square foot of store and only get those 3 things, but the minute I get to the shelves up at the register I transform into a trained monkey who sees something shiny. Suddenly I need batteries, mints, hand sanitizer, an Itunes gift card, beef jerky and a Wayne's World DVD. There are marketing men in suits who spend most of their day analyzing store video footage of me I'm sure. Why do I do that? I have no earthly idea...why do I spend 10 minutes circling the gym parking lot looking for a spot close to the door? I mean, it shouldn't matter that I have to walk an extra 20 yards. I did come to work out after all. But still, I'm so distressed when I can't find one.
I'm probably one of the select few who chooses songs I really like for my cell phone and only look forward to calls so I can hear it. More often than not I'll end up calling you right back because once again I overestimated how long I could dance and sing to my phone.
Vacuuming. I am a FREAK about vacuuming. Bath salts and aromatherapy have nothing on the peaceful serenity I feel about freshly vacuumed carpet. The lines are soothing to my soul...wait, where was I? oh yeah...
I can startle myself with how into my books I get. I can be loading dishes or vacuuming, and think, "I wonder what Edward and Bella would be doing right now.." Oh wait, that's right, they aren't real, so they're probably hanging out on someones computer hard drive at the moment.
I could go on, but I suppose I should stop there for now. The point was to embrace unexplainable weirdness and even the score a little. Not frighten you. We're still friends right? I can work on the cell phone thing...
12 comments:
Oh goody, I get to go first. Working in retail, I know the psychological reasoning behind the theory of racks at the register. Reason one, you are idle and waiting, when you go through the store with a purpose, you control the speed at which you move. Next time you are pushing a basket, and someone needs to move in front of you, see if you start looking at shelves while you wait for them to move their cart. Two, impulse items. Their is a science to this. They usually plant items that are inexpensive, and either they appeal to your stomach, or they are Nondurable goods, ones that you always need. If you check, you will see that these goods are usually marked up a little higher, and can not be found anywhere else in the store. Of course this all depends on the store you are in... have you ever been to FRYs? They have a "Wall you wait" in line devoted to every type of gadget and snack food. It is incredible!!! I can relate to a couple of traits that we share. At the gym, I am always looking for the spot, even if there is another one open, I will wait for a person to get in their car and back out just to be closer... grrr, you pointed out something I was not aware of about myself. Vacuuming; I own a Dyson, need I say more? i'm done!
ok, i think i'm done cracking up long enough to respond. no, wait...i KNEW there had to be research and a whole science that went into the whole cash register impulse buy. i am a slave to it! i'm glad to hear you are the same at the gym. i always forget what makes up an oxymoron..would a lazy gym rat be one?? A DYSON?! well done my friend. A moment of revered silence...
I don't have any weird things about myself cuz of the perfect. But I must say, you sound way smart when use the word "idiosyncrasies!"
I love it. This post. Your wit. You. You are great! Thanks for sharing your freaky side with all of us. Oh wait, we already knew. I've seen it, in person.
I guess I didn't know you found vacuuming to be "serene." I admit though, I, too, love the lines in the carpet. I just need a better vacuum. One that self-propels would be nice. So, next time you come over, you can enjoy some moments of serenity here too (just bring your vacuum).
Definitely still friends.
amy, another one of my freaky things is my retention of all high school vocab words and lo, i will vacuum for you any day, just say the word!! and thank you both for agreeing to be friends despite my freakshow antics:)
this...was AWESOME!! Sad thing, is now I know why have connected on such a high level as friends! I look forward to ending my shopping trip with all the little things @ the register...and since I'm an adult, I can actually buy these things, instead of beg my mom.
My ringtones are my version of an mp3 player.
I'm not as with you on the vacuuming thing...I definitely think it is the lesser of all the other evils of housework though...
Thanks for sharing 'best buddy'!
why, oh why, can't we live closer!?!? I think I'd love spending time with you!! You're a HOOT! I thought I was going to fall out of my spinning computer chair when you talked about thinking about Edward and Bella. I just finished book 3 about 10 minutes ago... yes... it is 1 a.m. ... no my life will never be the same... it's all your fault my house looks like it's been thrashed by a pack of wolves!!! Thanks for getting me into the books. And I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one that likes to hear the cell ring.... "Whip It"... by Devo. It's a classic.
well, the house across the street from us is totally for sale and really, with the heat you wouldn't be living to differently than where you are now! plus, we could discuss twilight whenever we wanted:) i'm so happy you are reading the books and loving them. i would apologize for the state of your home and life but on the other hand, it's so worth it right?!? I'd love to hear how you like book 4!
Hey Mel!!
I love how you get into books. I knew you became a part of your books when I saw your slide show of Twilight.
Thanks for sharing...maybe you can come vacuum here too? I just vacuumed our new very long shag carpet and had to go over each spot five times and there was STILL stuff on there....I could have really used your help. :)
Oh Mel, if it wasn't for your all your idiosyncrasies I probably wouldn't think you were great.
Remember your phone ringing last week and you not answering and then telling me you'd call back and you didn't? hmmmm...maybe you should work on the LYING! jk. But now I can at lesat picture you dancing when I call! FUN!!!! Call me when you get a chance to chat!! Love you and miss you!
love ya back, i'm dialing the phone right now!!
This post is a crack up. I understand your feelings on freshly vacuumed carpet...ahhh the peace it brings. Too funny! and no you are not alone.
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