"If a picture says a thousand words, I wouldn't mind a picture every now and again."-Melanie

I have a question for you. Do trees have babies? How bout this one: Why are our stomachs not in our heads? I've reached a point where I know certain unalienable truths about parent life. Saturdays no longer mean a day to sleep in. A whole sandwich can be ruined if it is cut into squares instead of triangles, and there is about a 50/50 chance that I will not have any food or spit up on my clothes when I venture out in public. What they don't mention in parent training class, is that you will field thousands of questions, ranging from the practical to the nonsensical.
While we surely strive for never ending patience and compassion, I'll admit to hyping up the fun of the "quiet game" or hiding out from the onslaught of questions with a book in my closet. Not that hiding is ever effective for long. My kids seem to have a super sophisticated built in GPS that finds me with little to no effort and either ends with them saying, "why are you in your closet?" or me yelling, "Seriously, if I go into the bathroom, you are not allowed to follow me in here!" It's not that I don't enjoy talking with my kids, because I do, it's just that sometimes the conversations make my brain hurt.
Just yesterday Jackson and I had this conversation in the car.
"Why are we born as babies?"
"Because we have to be small when we are born."
"Why?"
"Oh, well, so mom's and dad's can carry you around and you won't be so heavy."
"What happens if babies are too heavy."
"It would make our arms really tired."
"How do babies get bigger and bigger and bigger?"
"They eat good food."
"Good food makes you grow big?"
"Yes, so you need to always eat healthy food if you want to get big and strong."
"Do you eat healthy food?"
"Yes. I want to grow big and strong too."
"But if you grow bigger you'll be a giant!"
"Hey, why don't we play the quiet game, let's see if you can win this time!"
(10 seconds of silence)
"Why are fire engines red?"

Also yesterday: I am laying on the couch with all appearances of taking a nap. Laying down. Blanket. My eyes are closed.
Hannah: (while poking me) "Mom. Mom. Mom. Ma-hom!"
"Hannah, I'm sleeping."
"Then how did you just talk?"
"I'm sleep talking, please give me 10 minutes."
"But it's really really important."
"Is Drew OK?"
"Yes."
"Is anyone hurt?'
"No."
"Then it can wait 10 minutes."
"But my teacher said we had to talk to you about it as soon as we got home."
(Eyebrow raise, one eye opens, deep sigh)
"Okay, what's going on?"
"We got this fundraiser to sell cookies, and if we sell 200 we get to ride in a limo that has 2 TV's in it. And i really really really want to sell enough to ride in it."
"Goodnight."
"But it's a limo!"

And of course my conversations with Drew go something like:
"Andabbled gonokgoo."
Gonokgoo? Really? That's so interesting."
"Daddamemagoda."
"Oh, daddamemagoda, so fun."

I will say, as challenging as conversations can be sometimes with my kids, it does stretch my brain and it puts my public school education to the test. I have to reach back as far as the second grade to answer some questions. "Why does grass grow? Why is there a big A and a small A? Why do we have bones? Why can't we live on the moon? Why do we have to breathe? How does it rain? Who made the road? Why do you not know?"
I had Rhett take Jackson to preschool and he got a nice glimpse into my day.
"Why do red lights mean stop? Why does green mean go? Why does yellow mean slow down?"
"Because Jesus made it that way." Nice. I'll have to remember that one.
I can always handle the daily onslaught of questions, needs and wants as long as I have a little adult conversation to balance it out. So if you want to discuss the economy, fashion trends, politics, books, the fall lineup, or the latest must have cell phone, please let me know. I will warn you that if you want money from me or want to know why dogs have fur or if pooh is a bad word, my head just might explode.