It's How You Play the Game

So yesterday was a tough day for our soccer star. Hannah's team had their last game for the season, and lost. In terms of wins and losses, this was more of a learning year in that they won one game. Not for lack of trying, practicing, or supportive screaming parents on the sidelines. Usually after a loss, Hannah seemed to take it well. Not too concerned, looking forward to the next practice and game. Not so much the case yesterday. She came home with one of those faces that look like they could give way at any moment with tears. All it took was a "what's wrong?" to open the floodgates.
Now, it's a well known fact around our house that both our older children have some competitive tendencies. If I were to tell you they mainly get it from their dad, I would be right. Let's just say that the game Scrabble has been banned from our house for the past 8 years. You heard me. Banned. I don't get too crazy competitive. For the most part I like the social aspects of sports and games more than I care if I walk away the winner. But every once in awhile, i'll admit, it really matters. (Like for example when i finally won the last time we played Scrabble...)Once in a blue moon I feel like I have to win or else the whole thing will feel like a waste of time. So i could somewhat understand where she was coming from when our conversation went a little something like this:

Me:"Sweetie, winning is not the reason we play sports."
Hannah: "Yes it is."
Me: You had a fun time playing this season even if you didn't win every game."
Hannah: "It would have been more fun if we had won."
Me: "Well, winning isn't everything."
Hannah: "Yes it is."
Me: "I don't think you really feel that way."
Hannah: "Yes I do."
Me: "Well, as long as you are determined to feel mad, you are not going to appreciate all the fun that you got out of the season. So you can either keep feeling mad, or you can look at how much fun you had learning soccer this year and look forward to next year when you will know more than you did this time."
Hannah: "I just want to feel mad."

Okay well, so there you have it. I thought about that on and off all weekend. How do you teach them to enjoy the game even when they lose? Well, as you know, ESPN is a network I personally believe we keep in business. (Haven't seen any royalty checks as of yet) and even though it is usually always on in the background and is sometimes just white noise...I have to say, they have amazing character pieces. Really moving stories about athletes who have either beaten the odds, done amazing things under pressure, or given back in heartfelt ways. I watched a story today that really touched me, and answered the question i've been mulling over all weekend. This past Saturday, two college softball teams were playing the championship game. A girl playing for Western Oregon, who in her whole softball career had never hit a homerun, despite being a strong player, hit her first homerun. In her excitement as she watched the ball go over the fence, she didn't touch first base. Turning quickly to go back and touch the base she tore her ACL and went down in excruciating pain. Unbelieveably, here were the options at that moment. If her teammates or any coach or trainer from her own team came and assisted her around the bases she would be called out. If one of her teammates came to run for her, the homerun would be void and it would only be considered a single. As the umpire and coaches quickly mulled over what to do at homeplate...2 players from the opposing team, one of which was that team's top homerun hitter, asked the umpire if they could be the ones to carry her around the bases. They knew that if they, they opposing team, touched or aided her, there would be no penalty. To the amazement of everyone, that is exactly what happened. The two opposing players picked her up and gingerly placed her still good leg onto each base, all the way to homeplate. When the injured girl was later asked what she said to the opposing players who were helping her, she said she just cried and said, "Thank you."

Oregon went on to win, and the act of kindness from the opposing team assisted in their own defeat. When asked why they did it they said, "She hit a homerun. She deserved it." Even though the players who assisted the hurt girl did not win that day, I would ask: Didn't they? I'm sure sports will always be apart of our kids lives and I hope at the end of the day, more than winning or losing, more than the love of the game, more than being the best....I hope my kids learn strength of character. It will be one thing to excell at sports. More importantly, is that they excell at being good sportsmen.